How to Start Dating: The ‘Male Advantage’ Protocol

For years, I stumbled through the dark. I read the forums, I watched the videos, I tried to piece together the puzzle of “how to start dating.” The advice was a confusing mess of contradictions. It took me a long time and a lot of painful trial-and-error to figure out what actually works.

Recently, I saw a post on Reddit from a young guy who was on the same journey. He had clawed his way out of the “antisocial hole” and was sharing his hard-won lessons. He was right about so much: hit the gym, be bold, take risks, call the girl. It was an authentic report from the battlefield. But it was still missing a strategic map.

Then I remembered the book that finally put all those raw lessons into a coherent, powerful blueprint: Kris Sturmey’s “The Male Advantage.”

This article is the guide I wish I had when I started. It synthesizes Sturmey’s core philosophy with the lessons from the trenches. This is The ‘Male Advantage’ Protocol, the definitive, step-by-step system for a man who is starting from zero and wants to know how to start dating.

The Sturmey Framework: Beyond ‘Looking Good’

That Reddit post was a good starting point, but it’s like a soldier describing a single battle. Kris Sturmey’s “The Male Advantage” provides the full military doctrine. Sturmey’s genius was in codifying the non-negotiable Foundational Pillars a man must build to achieve what he calls “Sovereignty.” This isn’t just about getting dates; it’s about becoming the man who has his life so handled that dating success becomes an inevitable byproduct.

Let’s deconstruct the three core pillars that form the true foundation of The ‘Male Advantage’ Protocol.

The ‘Male Advantage’ Protocol: From Foundation to First Date

Sturmey’s genius was realizing that dating success isn’t about what you say to her; it’s about the man you build before you ever say hello. The protocol is sequential. Each phase builds upon the last. Do not skip steps.

Phase 1: Forge Your Physical Sovereignty (The Bedrock)

• Sturmey’s Insight: Your body is the physical vessel of your will, discipline, and self-respect.
• Action – Foundational Fitness: Build your routine on heavy, compound movements. This forges discipline and fundamentally alters your physical presence.
• Action – Deliberate Style & Grooming: Master your non-verbal communication. A well-fitted wardrobe and impeccable grooming signal high value before you speak.

Phase 2: Achieve Life Competence (The Kingdom)

• Sturmey’s Insight: A man who cannot manage his own life cannot lead a relationship.
• Action – Financial Foundation: Get your finances in order. A budget, an emergency fund, and a plan to eliminate debt. Financial chaos radiates desperate energy.
• Action – Domestic Competence: Run your own life with excellence. Maintain a clean, organized space. Know how to cook. Self-sufficiency is a powerfully attractive masculine trait.
• Action – Define Your Mission: What is your purpose? A clear sense of mission provides the directional energy that is the core of authentic Challenge.

Phase 3: Master the Psychological Framework (The Inner Citadel)

• Sturmey’s Insight: Mature masculinity is not one-dimensional. You must integrate the four archetypes: King, Warrior, Magician, and Lover.
• Action – Embody the Archetypes: Practice:
  • being decisive (King),
  • disciplined (Warrior),
  • knowledgeable (Magician),
  • and passionate about your interests (Lover).
• This inner work builds the unshakeable frame that makes you immune to neediness.

Phase 4: The Action Mandate (Take the Risk)

• Sturmey’s Insight (Translated into ARDA): Once the foundation is built, you must step into the arena. A perfect sword left on the wall is useless.
• The Reddit Guy’s Best Advice: “Take the risk.” “Call her.” “Don’t be afraid of getting rejected.” He is 100% right. After you have built your foundation, you must act.
• Action: The 3-Second Rule. You see the girl you like, you move. It prevents hesitation.
• Action: The Direct Close. You lead with a definite plan and ask for her number.
• Action: Make the Call. A phone call is a powerful, masculine move in a world of weak texters.
• The Critical ARDA Correction: The Reddit guy’s mistake was to “convince” her. You never convince. Your value, which you built in Phases 1, 2, and 3, is now self-evident. Your job in this phase is simply to provide the opportunity for her to experience it. You are the prize to be won, the selector, the interviewer. Your confident action is the final demonstration of your value.

And then go on a date, try to make her laugh, assess her interest level and her attitude.

Conclusion: From Raw Lessons to a Master’s Blueprint

The journey of “how to start dating” is not a collection of disconnected tips. It is the structured, sequential process of building a man of value from the ground up. The guy on Reddit was right: it requires “balls to master it.” But Kris Sturmey provides the blueprint that ensures your effort is not wasted.

Build the man first. Master your physical presence, your life competence, and your inner psychology. Only then, when you have become the prize, do you step into the dating arena.

Remember, guys: Don’t just learn the game. Become the man who is worthy of winning it.

Your First Step: A Personalized Sovereignty Audit

Reading the blueprint is one thing. Knowing where to start building is another. The ‘Male Advantage’ Protocol can feel overwhelming. Where are your personal weak points? Is your foundation solid, or are you building on sand?

The ARDA app is your personal foreman. It can help you conduct a brutal, honest audit and give you personalized advice on how to start dating.

Describe your current situation in the app:

• Your fitness and grooming habits.
• The state of your finances and living space.
• Your current career mission (or lack thereof).
• The areas where you feel least confident.